Malus Dies

I wish my mom would just allow me to stock a Jack in the house. Well, actually, Emperador or Gin Bulag will do. This is just so when bad days like this comes, I can just drown myself with a glass or two, then die. I mean sleep. Because it's the truth--no matter how positive and reasonable we try to be, bad days will come, and it will be so bad we don't have any choice but to accept defeat.

And, well, maybe, wake up the next morning because it is a new beginning, a brand new chance to make it up for the bad days.

(What the hell. Because I don't feel like saying that line)

It's a bad day when something failed and you know it's a total miss. makes me think if I'm still doing what I really want.

 

I'll never say that I'll never love. But I don't say a lot of things, and you, my love, are gone.

For the next month...

Movies to watch:

Then I remembered how he looked like.

Maybe I was in love on how he loved her.
How he was crazy about her.
How he just stares at her, smiling.

How he sees his mornings with her.
His lunch, dinner.
How he needed her in his arms on a lazy evening.

Maybe I was in love on how he was there on her weaknesses
And how he he just smiled from afar for her strengths.
How he accepts whoever she is, when he even can't recognize her.
And protect her, even if he doesn't know from where.

Maybe I am in love, with love.
With how true and pure it can be.
With how it changes a person
Or unleash how amazing we can be

Disorganized thoughts.

Besides the mass hiring of this company that comes with heavy workload for me (which I still weirdly enjoy), the OTs, the non-existent weekends, and the people I work with (aka people I spend my 24/7 with) what I love about my job now is not even my job description.

Our GM changed last November 2013. He was former Operations Manager of an account in the company blah blah blah. Let's skip the technicals because that's boring. So anyway, he is my manager's best friend that means Brevs, Aeron and I always go out with him on weekends. This is at some point cool, because heyyyyy! I am with a very big company's GM whooo! But at most times, not. We talk about work, and work, and work--which a Friday night is not supposed to be.

I like him though. He's the charismatic type, I guess. He reminds me so much of people I met in college. People who are ideal, passionate and reflective. People who I always love to talk to.

So guess what, I am now telling you what I love about my work now.

He asks me to write his speeches, his scripts at conferences, his email to this company's bosses. Of course he won't mention that I composed those speeches, but to hear your words spoken to a lot of people, your words reaching people you know will not just casually talk to you, and that small connection you have with your boss because you know what he wants and you know you can give it--

Making his speeches was like writing my thesis last year. I know how it will go, I can explain it, and defend it, but I cannot write it. I can say it better than I put it on paper. I can visualize it, but i cannot write it. And maybe I am enjoying what I am doing right now because it gives me the thought that I have finally overcome this weakness. That finally, I can organize my thoughts.

Hmm. I'm stopping here.

When Love Arrives

Divergent!!!! (because exclamation points are necessary)

So we watched Divergent last night. Yes, on its first day. I can't remember when I began liking Utopian kind of movies the same way I can't remember when I started loving to read.

Anyway, the movie’s really great, from the perspective of someone who read the book. It is really faithful; except for the little details they changed which I’m sure is done for the movie’s sake. I like how everything is how I imagined it while reading the book; the set-up, the characters (except for Cristina whom we expected to be blonde) and even the camera angles! I like that Tris is Shailene Woodley and that Theo James is Four (my god I am in love with this man).

It’s also funny how Miles Teller is in that movie. He almost killed Shailene on Divergent when he just had sex with her on The Spectacular Now. ANDDD, Ansel Elgort is Shailene’s brother in Divergent when they’ll be having sex in The Fault in Our Stars!

Okay, that’s supposed to be funny. And not about sex. Um.

However, the quantity of audience last night was not what I expected. Maybe I’m such a fan because I expected the movie house to be jam-packed with people, jeje or not. But, I realized that that’s how book-turned-movies movies start: they are initially judged by the book readers, and when it turns out to be really good, we know what happens next.

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We’re about to go home when a traffic enforcer asked us to stop because the taxi driver violated a traffic sign. You know how it goes so we just paid how much was in the meter and decided to eat when we saw McDonald’s.  That’s how planned our lives are.

We stayed until early early morning talking about love, work and life in general which pretty much sums up the issues we’re currently facing now.

So uh. Awkwardly ending this post. Updates next time. This is a long and heavy day. Chowders. 

There was me. And then your shadow. And then my empty heart. I know you were never responsible for whatever this heart is going through right now, but there was me. Your shadow. And my empty heart.

And I will wait 'til you come, or 'til this is gone.

"You identify yourself with your job"

And if you're satisfied with it, you are satisfied with yourself. So in the name of overtimes, sleepless nights, non-existent social and love life, I am telling all the stress and pressure to go away.

So, hi.

It has been X months since the last time I posted (even visited, wtf) this dump and thankfully, it is not a regret opening it again. Congratulations, blog, for reminding me of all the heartbreaks I've gone through the last years. Fuck it. I am actually surprised that this blog gathered 12 views the last weekend and it seriously creeps me out (yes, until now). So hi, reader/s, why the hell are you reading my pathetic posts?

Anyway, feels good in here. I might use this instead of tumblr. I am still thinking about it though. Um. That's it. Next time!